Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property wpdb::$categories is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 668

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property wpdb::$post2cat is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 668

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property wpdb::$link2cat is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 668

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 554

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 595

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 535

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 544

Deprecated: Return type of WP_REST_Request::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-request.php on line 952

Deprecated: Return type of WP_REST_Request::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-request.php on line 972

Deprecated: Return type of WP_REST_Request::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-request.php on line 984

Deprecated: Return type of WP_REST_Request::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-request.php on line 995

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::current() should either be compatible with Iterator::current(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 151

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::next() should either be compatible with Iterator::next(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 175

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::key() should either be compatible with Iterator::key(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 164

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::valid() should either be compatible with Iterator::valid(): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 186

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::rewind() should either be compatible with Iterator::rewind(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 138

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::offsetExists($index) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 75

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::offsetGet($index) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 89

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::offsetSet($index, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 110

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::offsetUnset($index) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 127

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 199

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_FormTag::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/form-tag.php on line 395

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_FormTag::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/form-tag.php on line 387

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_FormTag::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/form-tag.php on line 381

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_FormTag::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/form-tag.php on line 399

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_Validation::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/validation.php on line 78

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_Validation::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/validation.php on line 72

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_Validation::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/validation.php on line 59

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_Validation::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/validation.php on line 82

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Automattic\Jetpack\Connection\Manager::$error_handler is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/vendor/automattic/jetpack-connection/src/class-manager.php on line 91

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Instagram_Gallery::$is_wpcom is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/class-wpcom-rest-api-v2-endpoint-instagram-gallery.php on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Mailchimp::$wpcom_is_wpcom_only_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/class-wpcom-rest-api-v2-endpoint-mailchimp.php on line 17

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Tweetstorm_Gather::$wpcom_is_wpcom_only_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/class-wpcom-rest-api-v2-endpoint-tweetstorm-gather.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Tweetstorm_Gather::$is_wpcom is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/class-wpcom-rest-api-v2-endpoint-tweetstorm-gather.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Gutenberg_Available_Extensions::$wpcom_is_site_specific_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/gutenberg-available-extensions.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Memberships::$wpcom_is_wpcom_only_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/memberships.php on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Memberships::$wpcom_is_site_specific_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/memberships.php on line 24

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Subscribers::$wpcom_is_wpcom_only_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/subscribers.php on line 15

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Automattic\Jetpack\Sync\Queue::$random_int is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/vendor/automattic/jetpack-sync/src/class-queue.php on line 38

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Publicize_UI::$in_jetpack is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/modules/publicize.php on line 53

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_resources_scripts::$_resouces_version is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/class-fire-resources_scripts.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_resources_styles::$_resouces_version is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/class-fire-resources_styles.php on line 35

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_Widget_Goodreads::$shelves is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/modules/widgets/goodreads.php on line 33

Deprecated: DateTime::__construct(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($datetime) of type string is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/script-loader.php on line 331

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WP_Block_Type::$plan_check is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-type.php on line 284

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Jetpack_Shortcode_Unavailable::$shortcodes is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/modules/shortcodes/unavailable.php on line 19

Deprecated: trim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp.php on line 173

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WP_Term::$object_id is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-term.php on line 198

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_header_model_class::$mobile_nbwrapper_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_header_model_class::$primary_nbwrapper_container_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_header_model_class::$topbar_nbwrapper_container_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_logo_model_class::$src is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_related_posts_model_class::$excerpt_length is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_related_posts_model_class::$media_cols is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_related_posts_model_class::$content_cols is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_related_posts_model_class::$element_width is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$inner_container_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283
I mormors sfære – Speilvendt
Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 35.400000000000006 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1638

Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 35.400000000000006 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1639

Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 35.400000000000006 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1640

Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 104.25000000000003 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1638

Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 104.25000000000003 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1639

Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 104.25000000000003 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1640

Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 117.00000000000003 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1638

Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 117.00000000000003 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1639

Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 117.00000000000003 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1640

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$element_inner_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$args is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$args is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$inner_elements_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$search_form_container_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$inner_elements_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$args is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

I mormors sfære


Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_thumbnail_model_class::$lighbox_url is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_thumbnail_model_class::$has_lightbox is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

I februar bodde jeg nesten tre uker i hjemmet til min kjære mormor, mens hun var én måned i Spania. Det var ordentlig stas. Jeg vil helst bli som henne når jeg går inn i mine eldre år, og er glad i hjemmet hennes. Det er en pur glede å være på besøk. Fra hennes personlige sfære kan jeg åpne døren til de negativiteter som eksisterer utenfor med litt ekstra håp i brystet, samt en pose med avokado, tomater, ruccola, ferskt brød og noen av hennes tidligere klesplagg i hånden.

Hos mormor er alt på stell – og hjemmet er godt møblert, på strukturert vis. Det er fylt av gjenstander som alle har sin tilhørende historie. Jeg må bare stille de riktige spørsmålene for at de skal fortelles. Hjemmet er nemlig fylt av et helt liv. Hvert rom er som en utvidelse av henne selv, og gjenspeiler levd liv og erfaring, noe jeg har begynt å verdsette. Hennes særpreg, vendepunkter og lidenskaper – alt – under ett tak. Mitt minimalistiske prosjekt er for lengst vraket til fordel for denne «maksimalismen». Livet er stort og mangfoldig, og blir til mens man går, bør ikke omgivelsene bære preg av det?

I vinduene står et dusin grønne planter, der alle skal ha sin mengde vann. Jeg sliter med å holde oversikt. Hun har et gulvur fra 1700-tallet, som slår det 47. minuttet hver time, men den lyden kan bare gjester gjøre meg oppmerksom på. På veggene henger fotografier av hennes åtte barnebarn, malerier, grafikk, tallerkenhyller, mangletre, til og med et gammelt vevd åkle fra Telemark, som har blitt lappet sammen med et stoff av to applikerte fugler i midten. Hennes venninne, Sissel, hadde i sin ungdom klippet hull i dette åkleet for å bruke det som poncho til karneval. Nytteløst! I etterkant tok Sissel med seg åkleet over alt, på sine lange opphold rundt i verden. I overført betydning dro hun med seg sin dårlige samvittighet. Nå henger det på mormors vegg.

Der det ikke er bilder er det bøker. Bokhyller på rekke og rad, med bøker jeg bare kan drømme om å gjennomlese med det første. Jeg nærmer meg dem likevel. Jeg «vanker» ofte blant hyllene – leser titler, en side her og der, stiller mormor spørsmål. Mormor minner meg på at jeg fortsatt har god tid, men jeg vil lese dem snarlig slik at vi kan samtale om dem. Derfor er det lite betryggende. Jeg vil lese det hun har lest, og kanskje få overført noe av kunnskapen, den dyrekjøpte erfaringen og toleransen hun innehar –  til meg selv. Om mulig. Mormor er så glad i et dikt av Anne Riis, som uttrykker det sørgelige i at livserfaring ikke kan overføres til for eksempel meg:  

DON JUAN
Snart er jeg selv en gammel tørrgran
det plager ikke meg
at du går løs.
Jeg vet hva du kan
og ikke kan.
Men at spede skudd skal bøyes til jorden
igjen og igjen
Og at ikke det minste kan læres
fra mor til datter
DET svir i gamle grene

Et belest og langt liv kan jeg vanskelig nærme meg med det første, men likevel innbilte jeg meg at det å eksistere under hennes tak kunne ha en smitteeffekt. Hvordan var det å være hennes stedfortreder? Selv om mormor ikke var til stede, kunne jeg stadig fornemme henne og de satte normene oss imellom. På kvelden, da jeg satt i godstolen hennes med en kopp te, hørte jeg hennes stemme i mine tanker: «Trekk for gardinene, Tiril, så vi ikke sitter på utstilling». Gardinene ble trukket for med det samme.

Kall meg gjerne besatt, men jeg ville bokstavelig talt gå i hennes fotspor da jeg var der. Liksom, ta hennes roller. Og en av dem var å være en vert, å holde et selskap. Jeg inviterte blant annet til en bokklubb. Vi var fire unge voksne som satt rundt et altfor «voksent» spisebord – vi som ellers pleier å sitte på gulvet! Vi spiste suppe og diskuterte i mindre eller større grad boken vi alle hadde lest, og beveget oss etter hvert over til stuen. Jeg tente i peisen og serverte svart te og noen søtsaker, slik mormor gjør det. Det var en suksess, men det var snodig at jeg sto og vinket adjø fra mormors inngangsparti.   

Mormor og jeg hadde videosamtaler, og brått var det jeg som var i «röda rummet», mens hun var i Spania. For to år siden hadde det vært motsatt. Det var et uforventet rolleskifte. Da hun malte dette rommet rødt trodde jeg at det var et flyktig valg, fordi hun likte fargen. Slik er jo mine egne avgjørelser ofte basert – på tilfeldigheter og raske bedømmelser. Nylig lærte jeg at det ligger mer bak fargevalget: Hun har et uavklart forhold til August Strindberg, derav rommets navn, fordi hun aldri fikk skrevet hovedoppgave om hvordan «Ett drömspel» var forløperen til det absurde teater. Det er altså ikke bare gjenstandene som har en bakenforliggende historie.

 «Ethvert menneske er en levende roman», som mormor så fint sa en gang på nyåret … Vi har alle et livsmanus, men ikke alle velger å skrive og utgi det. Hvor tilgjengelig dette manuset er for andre varierer. Hvor mye kan jeg egentlig lære av å sitte i hennes godstol? Hvor nær kan vi komme de eldre? Jeg innså raskt at jeg også tok med meg selv inn i hennes tilværelse, og at jeg aldri kan få samme tilknytning til mormors gjenstander som hun har. Det er hennes levde liv, ikke mitt. 

Da min virkelighet ble dratt inn, fungerte ikke hjemmet i like stor grad som en virkelighetsflukt. Det var vanskelig å leve seg inn i hennes vise og tolerante essens, mens hun tok morgenturene sine ved Spanias kyst. Utvidelsen av mormor var ikke fullendt uten hennes samhandling med omgivelsene. I stedet krasjet mitt kaos med hennes harmoni. Men jeg liker å tenke at jeg klarte å nærme meg det harmoniske i løpet av de tre ukene, selv i en travel studenttilværelse. Takk, min fine mormor og inspirasjonskilde, for at du lot meg leve i ditt i en liten periode.

Tiril Ruud Pisani går 4. semester på profesjonsstudiet i psykologi


Deprecated: ltrim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 3031

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_sidebar_model_class::$args is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$args is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_btt_arrow_model_class::$args is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283