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La oss vokse opp – Speilvendt
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La oss vokse opp


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Illustrasjon: Maria Sjåfjell
Illustrasjon: Maria Sjåfjell

 

La oss vokse opp, bli voksne. Vi to, sammen. Vi lar det gå noen år. Tar opp lån. Kjøper et hus utenfor byen, enten der du vokste opp eller der jeg vokste opp. Maler det hvitt, pusser opp. Kjøkkenet må byttes ut, det er helt klart. Det er fort gjort. Sparedusj på badet, på badene.

En hage, med gjerde rundt. En trampoline i hagen. Den kan sees fra luftfoto, vi viser det til ungene – se, der er huset og hagen vår, med trampoline foran.

La oss abonnere på Morgenbladet. Og Aftenposten, i det minste i helger.

La oss pendle. Forsikre huset, og barna, gå til tannlegen. Mosjonere.

Spare noen kroner her og noen kroner der, men ta oss råd til eksklusiv kaffe, i en presskanne fra Traktøren eller Rafens, en innflyttingsgave fra en venn med god smak.

La oss spise økologisk mat, dra på sydenferier. Ha store bokhyller med tusenvis av dine og mine og våre bøker, barnas bøker. La oss lese for dem, lære dem alt de trenger åvite.

La oss ta dem med på landet, der bestemor og bestefar bor, la dem leke ute og med katten, mase om å få hund. Etter en stund gir vi etter, kanskje når minstemann har holdt rommet sitt ryddig i et halvt år, hehe, den lille rotekoppen, dette har du fortjent, du er stor nok til å passe på en hund nå.

Du kaller hunden opp etter en psykolog du beundrer, jeg sier at det virker nedlatende mot nevnte psykolog, så hunden blir hetende en slags kortversjon eller en kjælevariant av navnet. La oss ta den med på tur i skogen, le av den når den er glad og tungen flagrer ut av munnen.

La oss gå de samme stiene igjen og igjen, noen ganger med variasjoner. La oss drikke kaffe fra termos og gå på ski når det faller snø på bakken, ikke raskt for å gå Birken, men sakte for å se på naturen og nyte den friske luften.

La oss ta kosttilskudd, uten å være fanatiske, unne oss et glass vin eller to på fredagskvelden – la oss begrense oss til det, formaner vi. La oss se på Skavlan og Nytt på Nytt, men ikke Beat for Beat.

La oss dra på besøk til venner, i en familiebil, en med firhjulstrekk, du ville den skulle ha manuelt gir så du kjører som regel. La oss ha med vin eller twist eller blomster, si så godt å se dere, la det være latter og småprat om løst og fast, komplimenter til kokken, og takk for i kveld, la oss ikke la det bli like lenge til neste gang.

La oss krangle om venner eller hus eller rus, du må slutte å røyke, vi blir enige om dette, la meg hjelpe deg hjemover.

La oss dra til Syden, til Gran Canaria, eller kanskje til en storby som Paris, med eller uten barn – det er spørsmålet, vil jo gjerne lære dem ett og annet om byer og metro og kulturhistorie, men det er viktig å pleie forholdet også. La oss få barnevakt, dra alene, tenke at det vil bli som i tjueåra, men det stemmer ikke, det er annerledes og vi snakker om dette, men begge er enige om at det er hyggelig nå også, minst like hyggelig kanskje, vel og merke på en litt annen måte.

Vi fryser og holder hender, de er mer rynkete enn de pleide, kanskje er de tykkere også, jeg har lagt på meg, du er tynnere. Ringen føles trangere rundt fingeren og jeg spør deg om du angrer, og du sier vel, svelger, noen ganger.

 

La oss skilles, ikke med skrik og smelling med dører, men i en ubehagelig gnagende stillhet, i fornuft, fordi det er best slik.

La oss dele på en rettferdig måte, ha barna annenhver helg og høytid, la oss ikke konkurrere om dem og hvem som lager best mat eller gir best gaver eller lar dem være oppe lengst.

La oss kommunisere på en ålreit måte, fordi vi har lest i en bok at det er slik det skal gjøres.

På et tidspunkt, sier jeg, vurderte jeg om du var mannen jeg ville tilbringe livet mitt med, men jeg burde heller ha vurdert om du var mannen jeg ville at mine fremtidige barn skulle tilbringe hver onsdag ettermiddag og annenhver helg med. Ingen av oss ler.

 

Le da, sier jeg.

Voks opp, sier du.


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