Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property wpdb::$categories is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 668

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property wpdb::$post2cat is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 668

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property wpdb::$link2cat is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 668

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 554

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 595

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 535

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 544

Deprecated: Return type of WP_REST_Request::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-request.php on line 952

Deprecated: Return type of WP_REST_Request::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-request.php on line 972

Deprecated: Return type of WP_REST_Request::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-request.php on line 984

Deprecated: Return type of WP_REST_Request::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/rest-api/class-wp-rest-request.php on line 995

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::current() should either be compatible with Iterator::current(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 151

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::next() should either be compatible with Iterator::next(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 175

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::key() should either be compatible with Iterator::key(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 164

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::valid() should either be compatible with Iterator::valid(): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 186

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::rewind() should either be compatible with Iterator::rewind(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 138

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::offsetExists($index) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 75

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::offsetGet($index) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 89

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::offsetSet($index, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 110

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::offsetUnset($index) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 127

Deprecated: Return type of WP_Block_List::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-list.php on line 199

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property ACF::$fields is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/fields.php on line 138

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_loop::$loops is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/loop.php on line 28

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property ACF::$loop is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/loop.php on line 269

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property ACF::$revisions is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/revisions.php on line 387

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_validation::$errors is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/validation.php on line 28

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property ACF::$validation is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/validation.php on line 215

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_form_customizer::$preview_values is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/forms/form-customizer.php on line 28

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_form_customizer::$preview_fields is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/forms/form-customizer.php on line 29

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_form_customizer::$preview_errors is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/forms/form-customizer.php on line 30

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property ACF::$form_front is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/forms/form-front.php on line 600

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_form_widget::$preview_values is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/forms/form-widget.php on line 34

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_form_widget::$preview_reference is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/forms/form-widget.php on line 35

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_form_widget::$preview_errors is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/forms/form-widget.php on line 36

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_FormTag::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/form-tag.php on line 395

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_FormTag::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/form-tag.php on line 387

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_FormTag::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/form-tag.php on line 381

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_FormTag::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/form-tag.php on line 399

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_Validation::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/validation.php on line 78

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_Validation::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/validation.php on line 72

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_Validation::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/validation.php on line 59

Deprecated: Return type of WPCF7_Validation::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/includes/validation.php on line 82

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Shortcodes_Ultimate::$about_menu is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/shortcodes-ultimate/includes/class-shortcodes-ultimate.php on line 207

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Shortcodes_Ultimate::$unsafe_features_notice is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/shortcodes-ultimate/includes/class-shortcodes-ultimate.php on line 229

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Shortcodes_Ultimate::$widget is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/shortcodes-ultimate/includes/class-shortcodes-ultimate.php on line 256

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Automattic\Jetpack\Connection\Manager::$error_handler is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/vendor/automattic/jetpack-connection/src/class-manager.php on line 91

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Instagram_Gallery::$is_wpcom is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/class-wpcom-rest-api-v2-endpoint-instagram-gallery.php on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Mailchimp::$wpcom_is_wpcom_only_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/class-wpcom-rest-api-v2-endpoint-mailchimp.php on line 17

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Tweetstorm_Gather::$wpcom_is_wpcom_only_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/class-wpcom-rest-api-v2-endpoint-tweetstorm-gather.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Tweetstorm_Gather::$is_wpcom is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/class-wpcom-rest-api-v2-endpoint-tweetstorm-gather.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Gutenberg_Available_Extensions::$wpcom_is_site_specific_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/gutenberg-available-extensions.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Memberships::$wpcom_is_wpcom_only_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/memberships.php on line 23

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Memberships::$wpcom_is_site_specific_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/memberships.php on line 24

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_REST_API_V2_Endpoint_Subscribers::$wpcom_is_wpcom_only_endpoint is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/lib/core-api/wpcom-endpoints/subscribers.php on line 15

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Automattic\Jetpack\Sync\Queue::$random_int is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/vendor/automattic/jetpack-sync/src/class-queue.php on line 38

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Publicize_UI::$in_jetpack is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/modules/publicize.php on line 53

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_resources_scripts::$_resouces_version is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/class-fire-resources_scripts.php on line 20

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_resources_styles::$_resouces_version is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/class-fire-resources_styles.php on line 35

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WPCOM_Widget_Goodreads::$shelves is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/modules/widgets/goodreads.php on line 33

Deprecated: DateTime::__construct(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($datetime) of type string is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/script-loader.php on line 331

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_field_oembed::$width is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/fields/class-acf-field-oembed.php on line 31

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_field_oembed::$height is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/fields/class-acf-field-oembed.php on line 32

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_field_google_map::$default_values is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/fields/class-acf-field-google-map.php on line 33

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property acf_field__group::$have_rows is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/advanced-custom-fields/includes/fields/class-acf-field-group.php on line 31

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Cookie_Jar::offsetExists($key) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Cookie/Jar.php on line 63

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Cookie_Jar::offsetGet($key) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Cookie/Jar.php on line 73

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Cookie_Jar::offsetSet($key, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Cookie/Jar.php on line 89

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Cookie_Jar::offsetUnset($key) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Cookie/Jar.php on line 102

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Cookie_Jar::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Cookie/Jar.php on line 111

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Utility_CaseInsensitiveDictionary::offsetExists($key) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Utility/CaseInsensitiveDictionary.php on line 40

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Utility_CaseInsensitiveDictionary::offsetGet($key) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Utility/CaseInsensitiveDictionary.php on line 51

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Utility_CaseInsensitiveDictionary::offsetSet($key, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Utility/CaseInsensitiveDictionary.php on line 68

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Utility_CaseInsensitiveDictionary::offsetUnset($key) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Utility/CaseInsensitiveDictionary.php on line 82

Deprecated: Return type of Requests_Utility_CaseInsensitiveDictionary::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/Requests/Utility/CaseInsensitiveDictionary.php on line 91

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$is_overloaded is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 21

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_pos is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 22

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property POMO_FileReader::$_f is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/streams.php on line 153

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MO::$_gettext_select_plural_form is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/pomo/translations.php on line 293

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WP_Block_Type::$plan_check is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-block-type.php on line 284

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Jetpack_Shortcode_Unavailable::$shortcodes is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/modules/shortcodes/unavailable.php on line 19

Deprecated: trim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp.php on line 173

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WP_Term::$object_id is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-term.php on line 198

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_header_model_class::$mobile_nbwrapper_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_header_model_class::$primary_nbwrapper_container_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_header_model_class::$topbar_nbwrapper_container_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_logo_model_class::$src is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_related_posts_model_class::$excerpt_length is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_related_posts_model_class::$media_cols is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_related_posts_model_class::$content_cols is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_related_posts_model_class::$element_width is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property CZR_Model::$inner_container_class is deprecated in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/fmk-ccat.php on line 283
Novelle: Et løpende poliklinisk notat om å være flink pike i det 21. århundre – Speilvendt
Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 35.400000000000006 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1638

Deprecated: Implicit conversion from float 35.400000000000006 to int loses precision in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-content/themes/customizr/core/functions-ccat.php on line 1639

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Novelle: Et løpende poliklinisk notat om å være flink pike i det 21. århundre


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Tekst: Sara Marjanovic
Foto/Illustrasjon: Markus Ulrichsen/Ingrid Sørvik

Mandag, 25. april, kl. 08:16

Stolen jeg sitter i er gul. Påfallende gul. Det virker nesten som at noen har laget den sånn med vilje eller at det finnes en eller annen rar baktanke. Det er ett eller annet med den jævla stolen. Selv et enkelt IKEA-møblement kan virke komplekst i en ellers så kaotisk verden. Det kan for eksempel ha vært vanskelig å skru stolen sammen. I teorien er det enkelt. Man skjønner jo helt intuitivt at steg én kommer før steg to, akkurat som at steg to kommer før steg tre, men når man står der med verktøykassa i hånda er det som at man plutselig har glemt hvem man er og hvor man står. De som har kommet seg levende gjennom et lettvint IKEA-kjøp kan fortelle om lange netter, en motorisk og intellektuell prøvelse, der skrutrekkere, trelim og stygge ord kastes rundt i en forrykende fart, kanskje som et rop om hjelp. Sånne netter som nesten alltid ender med splittelse og sårede barn. De kan fortelle at det til tider har virket så mørkt at de nesten har gitt opp drømmen om en gul lenestol som ikke lager riper i parketten. De kan også fortelle at det aldri er håp der det er bruksanvisning. Hvilke skruer hører til hvor? Er det forskjell på stolbenene, jeg synes de ser litt forskjellige ut, nei, jeg vet ikke. Jeg sitter og lurer på om alle stoler i terapirom rundt om i verden er gule på akkurat denne måten, eller gule i det hele tatt. Er dette en helt vanlig stol? Eller er det noe spesielt med den? Det kan jeg ikke spørre om. Det er hun som spør «Hallo, er du her?» mens jeg stirrer ned i den stygge parketten. Ja, jeg er her, men jeg lurer fortsatt på hva jeg skal svare. Jeg har ingenting. Ikke en eneste lur tanke. Ikke ord. Ikke språk. Ikke et eneste vondt barndomsminne.

«Ingenting.»

«Hva føler du nå når vi to sitter her?»

«Ingenting.
Jeg tror at jeg vet hva jeg skal si,
men så mangler jeg liksom ordene.»

«Glem ordene. Hva er følelsen?»
«Hvor sitter den?
Hvor på kroppen sitter følelsen?»

«Jeg vet ikke.»
«I ryggen. 
Nei, i nakken.
Den iler liksom nedover ryggraden,
kiler som en fjær mellom skulderbladene,
leker med ribbenene, drar meg i håret …»

«Bra.»

«Og spytter meg i trynet.»

«Spytter deg i trynet?»

«Ja. Hun sitter oppå brystet mitt og banker dritten ut av meg, og forteller meg at jeg kommer til å dø, kanskje ikke i dag, kanskje ikke i morgen, men snart, fordi kloden vår brenner opp, den norske krona kommer snart til å stupe, prisen på en spisemoden avokado har steget med 50 %, og avokadoproduksjonen krever vanvittig mye vann, nesten like mye som bomull, og jeg trenger nye jeans, men ikke sånne som er dyppet i syre, de fabrikkene slipper ut kjemikalier som renner ned i elver som leder til ferskvannskilder som dreper småfisk og ødelegger biomangfoldet vårt, og verden er i konstant endring, samfunn destabiliseres, det blusser opp til krig og konflikt og jeg vil ikke sette barn til verden i en sånn verden, jeg vet ikke engang hvilke jodtabletter jeg skal kjøpe, og dessuten er de ingen steder å få tak i og hvor faen på disse 40 kvadratmeterne skal jeg lagre 12 liter vann på lufttette kanner når ikke jeg engang har råd til å betale strømregninga mi som forresten ble alt for høy denne måneden, hva er liksom greia med det?»

«Hvordan går det med angsten egentlig?»

«Dette er ikke angst.»

Stygge, vesle, frøken angst skal alltid få det siste ordet. Hun er en pretensiøs liten jævel som alltid rekker opp hånden før de andre har rukket å tenke en tanke. Hun har vært på Dagsrevyen, i avisa og i alle filmene du noen gang har sett, og hun har gjennomsyret imaget til dine største idoler. Hun er kverulant og drar opp de mest ubehagelige temaene rundt middagsbordet bare for å provosere. Hun elsker når folk tar bilder av henne og hun drikker boblevin til frokost. Hun får æren for alt. En vond skulder? Angst. Uheldig med eksamen? Angst. En dyptgående og eksistensiell kvartlivskrise? Uten tvil angst. Begynner jeg å ligne på mamma? Typisk frøken angst! 

Når jeg sitter i den gule stolen og ser meg selv utenfra kan jeg bruke andre navn uten at noen hever et øyenbryn. Bortsett fra frøken angst. Hun sitter fornærmet i et hjørne på det lyse kontoret. Hun sitter klistret fast på bakerste side i en av bøkene i vinduskarmen til psykologen. Hun skriver debattinnlegg om dyrevern og palmeolje i påskegodteri. Hun har gaffateip over munnen og blåmerker på knærne. Hun får egentlig ikke puste. For det er ikke henne, for en gangs skyld er det ikke henne dette handler om. Det er noe mer, noe større, en annen hovedrolle som snart skal frem på scenen, som gjemmer seg i kulissene sånn at den som ser på skal fortsette å lure, påkoblet og hekta. Når vi prater om vesle frøken angst er det egentlig en annen vi mener. Ikke den navlebeskuende rosabloggeren som lurer på hvorfor hun er rastløs, ikke han som henger i kroker og liker smaken av sitt eget neseblod, men en kjær familievenn, litt anonymt tilstede. Han er lubben, har stort skjegg og feller gjerne en tåre eller to i bryllupet ditt. Men han er aldri festens midtpunkt. Bare hvis man skrur av musikken og hysjer på de høylytte damene som står og røyker på verandaen kan man høre han mumle:

Skal jeg ta den asjetten med tilstedeværelse for deg, eller er du enda ikke mett? Har det ikke smeltet på tungen enda? Kjenner du det ikke i ganen? 

Nei, svarer jeg. 

Du får suge litt hardere på det sitrondropset ditt, jeg kommer nok tilbake.

«Stygge, vesle, frøken angst skal alltid få det siste ordet. Hun er en pretensiøs liten jævel som alltid rekker opp hånden før de andre har rukket å tenke en tanke»

Mandag, 9. mai, kl. 10:08

Jeg tar t-banen i retning det lyse kontoret og den gule stolen og går av på stoppet etter «Hva skal du spise til middag i dag?», Majorstuen, «Hva skal du prate om i dag?», Nationaltheateret, «Hva faen er det du holder på med?», endelig Stortinget og traver opp den lange rulletrappen. Jeg har dårlig tid. Jeg er blakk. Jeg biter meg i kinnet og tripper aggressivt med venstrefoten mens jeg ergrer meg over de som ikke evner å holde til høyre. 

For noen jævla idioter. HOLD TIL HØYRE med kofferten FORAN DEG på vei opp og BAK DEG på vei ned. Fy. Faen. I. Helvete. Syke, syke mennesker.

Jeg har fått høre at jeg stiller høye krav til meg selv og andre. Det gjør at jeg støter folk fra meg samtidig som at jeg gjør alt jeg kan for at de skal si at jeg er flink. Det er sånn som gir en høye skuldre. Men jeg har alltid levd for å kunne fortsette å være en del av den klisjeen. Jeg stiller meg lengst bak i rekken priviligerte, desperate, feminine skikkelser. Jeg er hun med silkebånd i hestehalen og sammenkrøket rygg, hun med de tunge skolebøkene og de trøtte øynene, håndkrem og leppepomade fra det samme franske merket og skolissene i dobbelknute. Jeg er én av hundretusener med flinke piker sammenklemt i et klasserom der det kun er plass til én elevrådsleder. Blir det meg mon tro? Vi kravler på toppen av hverandre, hiver etter luft og klorer oss i ansiktet. Vi kaver oss oppover mens vi grynter og ramser opp amerikanske presidenter, sedimentære bergarter og kjemiske formler i munnen på hverandre. Avføringsmiddel, kaffe og oppkast renner nedover næringskjeden. I kaosets vendepunkt kan det nesten virke som et eneste digert samstemt orkester, bestående av fremtidige leger, advokater, psykologer og ingeniører. Vi er de unge, håpefulle på livets store scene, i ferd med å kaste oss ut til publikum, la oss bære av beundring og berøring fra de vanlige dødelige, men likevel mektige mennene i blå dress og mansjettknapper fra Milano. Man kunne kanskje håpe at denne galskapen handlet om et ønske om å utgjøre en forskjell, legge igjen noe godt og være noe for noen andre. Men fra de lengtende, seige stemmebåndene kommer det ingen lyd, ingen sang, ingen ord. Det gigantiske pikekoret står som et sort hav av sultne munner som gaper etter applaus og godbiter nede i avgrunnen et sted. 

Det finnes heller ingen mening lenger, bare uangripelige sitater fra de store klassikerne som ligger i enhver flink pikes bokhylle, men som egentlig aldri ble forstått. De ble bare lest, repetert og glemt. Disse mesterverkene hører en annen tid til. De er ikke skrevet for våre verkende ører. De er ikke ment for å treffe våre søkende hoder og sultne hjerter. Det er egentlig ikke meningen at vi skal lese dem i det hele tatt. De er tidløse fordi hvite menn i blå dress og mansjettknapper fra Milano absolutt skal ha dem til å være det. Men flinke piker skal ikke føle og tro slik Dostojevskij og Tolstoj gjorde. Vi skal ikke se det Dickens, Atwood og Steinbeck så. Vi evner det ikke fordi vi egentlig ikke trenger det. Vi trenger ikke et psykologisk karakterportrett i tre bind, vi trenger seksere. Vi trenger ikke giftige, feministiske stikk til det viktorianske ekteskapet, vi trenger sexappell og kapital. Skammen blusser opp og slår oss hardt over fingrene når vi forsøker å se oss til høyre istedenfor til venstre. Den største synden en flinke pike kan begå er å velge bort dybden til fordel for bredden. Det er ikke plass til nyanse i verdensbildet til en flink pike. Men det er også det som gjør oss så syke og engstelige. For mennesker er vel ikke ment å leve på den måten? 

Og du ser disse lidende menneskene sitte fremfor deg, spiseforstyrrede, egoistiske, utbrente og engstelige. Du har garantert vært som meg en gang, før du fant deg selv, skrev hovedoppgave om det sosiale mennesket i total ensomhet, giftet deg og begynte med yoga. Jeg kan se det på måten du ser på meg på. Det er tross alt ikke bare bare å bli til det du har blitt til. Jeg ser på deg, med skriveblokken i fanget og alarmen hengende på beltet, og så tenker jeg «Har du blitt sånn eller spist sånn? Skal du sitte og late som at du har vært trygg bestandig?» Kanskje synes du til og med synd på meg. Du vet jo like godt som meg at jeg er i ferd med å knekke i to. Disse kravene, alt dette presset, de høye, verkende, flinke skuldrene mine bare takler det ikke. I sekken min ligger det ikke lenger tunge pensumbøker som kan vitne om en lys fremtid, bare en uverdig mengde snus og paracet sammen med et sammenkrøllet henvisningsark fra en bekymret kontaktlærer. 

Men ikke la deg lure. Sannheten er at flinke piker er noe av det styggeste du kan være så uheldig å bli utsatt for. Vi setter oss ned i de gule stolene på terapirom rundt om i verden og suger livskraften ut av deg før du i det hele tatt har rukket å informere oss om taushetsplikten. Flinke piker stiller like høye krav til verden, som de stiller til seg selv, og det finnes ikke synd i oss. Alle jeg omgås med, alle jeg møter på trikken, i matbutikken og på treningssenteret er konstant oppe til eksamen. Jeg en selvutnevnt sensor med nådeløse krav om høyeste måloppnåelse fra hver eneste deltager, hver eneste birolle og statist i forestillingen jeg har valgt å kalle for livet mitt. Prøveperioden varer like lenge som du kan telle leveår. 

For en flink pike er bare toppkarakteren godt nok. Og det vet du, like godt som meg, at kommer til å koste oss alt. 

Sara Marianovic går 4. semester på profesjonsstudiet i psykologi.


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