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Shakespeare på PSI (Hamlets siste dager) – Speilvendt
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Shakespeare på PSI (Hamlets siste dager)


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– en kontrafaktisk dialog på omtrentlig to sider

Av Petter Brevik
Illustrasjon hentet fra Pixabay 

«The scientist and Hamlet combined into one sounded
alluring, so psychology became my choice.»
– OJ Madsen

På seminarrom 4 eller i skolegården eller noe; det er natt.

PSI
Velkommen skal du være, kjære Hamlet,
vi, sier jeg, mener meg, står samlet
om å tilby deg et professorat på hvor mange år –
du innfrir nemlig hvert krav som står, er
hvit, selsom og digresjonskjær.
Som et tillegg lar vi deg høste som du sår
(jeg snakker så klart om studinene du får
ligge med som du makter, men vær varsom, vis takter:
si ikke til den ene hva du gjorde med den andre,
ellers henger de deg fra lissen, sparker deg i tissen:
«meg og» – jeg vet du vet så altfor godt,
my man, vokst opp på et slott).

HAMLET
Takk, men først noen ukvemsord, om du tillater det:
Jeg er kommet for å dø, nei, vent, ikke le –
disse skoger dere har er en utmerket favn,
jeg forsøker å unngå min families skam;
mitt liv til nå har bare vært jammer,
jeg ble voksen for tidlig, straks far ble gammel –
ungdommens dugg fordamper i hast,
skjebnen er sannelig en fæl pederast.
Det er alt sammen tuftet på tilfellet, min venn,
alt fra hvordan du går til ditt første hjem;
jeg har ingen makt, verken nå eller siden,
og velger derfor å gi etter for tvilen.

PSI
Men Hamlet, du vet da så inderlig vel
at denne urett ikke bør kvele deg selv;
her tilbys du alt som kan løfte på minen,
ja visst står du maktesløs overfor pinen –
den som tærer på deg, det ser til og med jeg,
unnskyld, vi –

HAMLET
Ja, dette «vi» er og en vippende farsott,
som noe vi ser, men aldri helt har forstått;
å, hvor jeg ønsker det var som man sier,
at fellesskap tillot utallige stier,
løpende parallelt eller på kryss og på tvers,
at det ikke førte til fullstendig revers
med hensyn til alt av hva tanken formår –
se, i hvilket knutepunkt jeg plutselig står,
bundet og hindret så sant jeg skal leve,
tillot meg aldri et øyeblikks sveve

GJENFERDET
Hamlet, jeg er Harald Schjelderups’ gjenferd,
den gamle krabben, gjenoppstått på siden,
fysiker-filosof, jeg forteller det viden;
du har rett, gamle ørn, om konformitetens last –
den veier så tungt, er det rart du brast? –
allikevel tar jeg meg i å undres over tiden,
hvorfor nå har du satt kurs for den andre siden?

HAMLET

Jeg har båret dette loddet for lenge,
det er som du skjønner vanskelig å trenge
en livsfølelse gjennom ordet alene
når syntaks er form og bokstaver så pene.
Mitt liv under ett har jeg vel aldri kjent
frihetsfølelsen, som stundom har vært så betent;
svulmende på innsiden som puss i en vorte,
et lite stikk, og alt kan bli borte;
det er denne tanken som har vært meg forlokkende,
vissheten om at jeg kan la det brått-ende
uten å avgi forklaring til noen;
en råderett, skulle tiden bli moden.

PSI
Er det da ikke noe konkret som har skjedd
som kan forklare (begrunne) deg plutselig redd?
Jeg – vi har tilbudt deg det en kan makte,
det er deg, kjære Hamlet, som vi har å takke
om du valgte å gjøre en ende på alt,
det er sant, man vil klandre deg totalt.

HAMLET
For så å gjøre helgen ut av meg, mitt kadaver,
bare minnet igjen, man tar vad man haver.
Jeg har grunnet og undret helt siden oppstarten
av mitt voksne liv, og det tiltok i opptakten
til mitt modne jegs inntog i de myndiges rekker,
den frukten som råtner over alles hekker,
og som nok best kan betegnes som kjølvann av dugg,
ikke ungdom og vilje, men renspikket slugg;
jeg er usikker på hvilken verdi det kan ha
å leve i den evinnelige skyggen fra da –
det som var.
Mitt inntrykk er at jeg ikke har skjønt
noe helt essensielt ved gressenes grønt,
at jeg ikke ser farger der andre ser hager,
at jeg på ingen som helst måte står bak hva jeg lager;
det er sant å si bare ett spørsmål igjen:
om jeg virkelig var den jeg håpet på, venn.

Petter Brevik går 2. semester på profesjonsstudiet i psykologi


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