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Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 595

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Deprecated: Return type of WP_Theme::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /home/1/s/speilvendt/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 544

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Spør psykologen – Speilvendt
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Spør psykologen


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Til psykologen,

 

Jeg har et litt rart problem som jeg ikke har snakket med noen om før. Jeg er en jente i slutten av tjueårene som har vært i praksis som psykolog gjennom profesjonsstudiet. Jeg har hatt stort utbytte av praksisen og setter denne erfaringen høyt i min vei mot en dag å bli klinisk psykolog (som jeg gleder meg veldig til).

Saken er at jeg kjente, og kjenner fortsatt, en sterk tiltrekning til en av klientene jeg møtte. Jeg forstår at man kan ha empati og hjerte for de man skal hjelpe, men opplever at mine følelser for denne mannlige pasienten rommer mer enn dette. Jeg merket at jeg gledet meg til å dra til praksis på grunn av ham, og at jeg tenkte mye på ham.

Jeg har snakket med mange på kullet mitt som føler seg emosjonelt beveget av pasienter de har møtt, og jeg vet ikke, kanskje dette er vanlig? Selv opplever jeg det veldig problematisk og frustrerende, og jeg blir litt redd av at dette skjer første gangen jeg får muligheten til å «teste» yrket mitt. Vil det skje igjen?

Jeg er ikke en person som blir betatt av annenhver gutt jeg møter, og opplever denne tiltrekningen som veldig ekte. Årsaken til at han har oppsøkt psykolog er heller ikke svært alvorlig, vil jeg si. Jeg kjenner så klart til de etiske retningslinjene her, men strengt tatt så jobber jeg jo ikke som psykolog ennå.

Jeg vet ikke om jeg tør å ta det opp med veileder, for om jeg skal være ærlig, føler jeg meg litt dum som kjenner på disse følelsen. Hva skal jeg gjøre?

 

Hilsen meg

 

 

Hei!

 

Det er fint og modig at du tar opp dette store tabuområdet! Veldig mange av oss har selvfølgelig slike følelser fra tid til annen, men vil helst ikke snakke om det. Dels vet vi jo godt at vi «ikke skal ha sånne følelser» – dels vil vi kanskje dyrke dem litt i fred og ro, uten de innsigelsene vi vet vil komme.

Mange klienter er jo veldig ålreite folk som vi liker godt, og åpenheten og sårbarheten gjør at det ligger til rette for at det skal oppstå intime følelser – også seksuell tiltrekning. Noen ganger søker de en intimitet med oss, og noen ganger er det nok også vi selv som kunne trenge eller ønske oss en nær, bekreftende kontakt. Slik kan det bli når vi engasjerer oss følelsesmessig i et menneske, og det er vi jo nødt til å gjøre. Jeg vil synes det er et mye større problem hvis en psykolog ikke blir følelsesmessig berørt og engasjert i en klient!

Selv om det emosjonelle engasjementet kan være viktig og kanskje nødvendig, og en seksuell tiltrekning også vil være naturlig og forståelig, må vi se på slike følelser som kliniske problemstillinger, ikke som hendelser i vårt eget privatliv. De oppstår, og vi må håndtere dem – og det må være utenkelig for oss å agere ut ifra dem. Om tiltrekningen er aldri så ekte, og om du er ferdig utdannet eller ei, er følelsen likevel oppstått i en klinisk kontekst, og må håndteres profesjonelt. Det handler om trygghet for klienter – de skal kunne gå i behandling uten å bli betraktet som seksualobjekter, selv om det kanskje til og med er det de selv ønsker.

Profesjonelt betraktet handler det om hvilke emosjonelle responser som kan ha en klinisk verdi. Å arbeide sammen med klienten om å forstå og se mønstre i de følelsene klienten vekker hos oss behandlere, kan være svært verdifullt når det gjøres av en kliniker som har god nok kontroll over sine egne følelser. Da kan utforskningen bli trygg og støtte klientens egen erkjennelsesprosess. Motsatt kan det bli ganske ille hvis terapeuten blander sine egne emosjonelle og relasjonelle vansker og behov inn i terapien. Disse hører mer hjemme i egenterapi eller veiledning, og det er vel også der du bør ta opp den følelsesmessige relasjonen du har akkurat nå.

Du er slett ikke dum som føler slik du gjør. Det er tvert imot modent og viktig at du erkjenner klart for deg selv hva du virkelig føler, i stedet for å la impulsene kjøre et ukontrollert eget løp, og kanskje få deg til å falle ut av terapeutrollen, over i noe helt annet – som også kommer til å koste deg jobben.

 

Tekst Peder Kjøs, psykologspesialist og stipendiat ved Psykologisk institutt, UiO / «meg»

 

 

Psykologen svarer deg som lurer

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